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The Traditional Indian Wedding
The Welcoming of the Groom (Var Preksan or Parchan)
The groom is welcomed at the front gate by the bride?s mother. She will then perform rituals and prayers, which give a warm, welcome and wish for the well being of the groom and places a tikka (red dot) on his forehead. The bride?s mother then places a small clay pot that is tied together with white thread. The groom must step on this pot before entering the mandap. Therefore this is the opportunity for the brides? sister to steal the groom?s shoes who can get them back after the ceremony at a price.
The best man (usually the brother-in-law) then escorts the groom to the mandap.
Kanyadan
Before this ceremony is performed the father of the bride has to wash the groom?s right foot, this ritual bestows the worldly goods of Vishnu on the groom. This ceremony is performed by the brides parents along with the Brahmin (priest) who will chant ?mantras? (verses) from the Vedas, this is to signify the giving away of their daughter with God?s blessing. This is an emotional part whereby both parents of the bride give the responsibility of their daughter to the groom, this signifies their approval and blessing of this joining together of two people. The wedding can know proceed.
Arrival of the bride
Mama who is maternal uncle carries or walks with the bride to the mandap along with the family.
Before the couple see each other, a partition is held in front of the groom and the Brahmin (priest) will give the groom information on the bride and when he agrees this information then the partition is removed.
This will be followed by the garland ceremony. This is for the bride to welcome and honour the bridegroom who will act in response with the same honour and love.
Hasta Mallap (The Joining of Hands)
The Brahmin (priest) will chant mantras (verses) while the brides right hand is placed on the grooms right hand this represents joining of hands, the hearts have also joined together and are one. They both make the promise in front of God and all guests as witnesses that they promise to remain devoted to each other and to treat each other with love, respect, sympathy and compassion.
The Brahmin (priest) will then loop white raw cotton is wound round twenty four times and is put around the shoulder of the bride and the groom, this symbolises the different characteristics and virtues of human life. That means that these white threads of cotton bind the couple together from now onwards and they fulfil each of their roles fully and honestly. Although a single thread of raw cotton is easily broken many of them become stronger, therefore binding the couples abilities together more securely in a bond.
Agni Poojan
The Brahmin (priest) lights the sacred fire (agni) to invite the God of Fire and other Gods to witness the marriage. This is the most important part of ceremony as it is believed by most Hindus, that the bride is protected by the moon for the first seven years of her life, followed by the sun for the seven years and Agni(fire) is custodian for the following seven years.
The Stepping on the stone ceremony
The bride and groom assist each other in placing their right foot on the stone, which symbolises that they will stand firm together in the future lives.
Mangal Fere (signifying marriage)
The brides brothers are called upon to participate in this part of the ceremony, where the bride and groom walk round the fire four times solidify their marriage and make them husband and wife. These four rounds represent the four human goals, which are the following:
Dharma life of righteousness
Artha life of prosperity
Kama life of a happy family
Moksha life towards the path of God.
The bride and groom are joined together by a piece of white cloth one end tied to the brides sari and the other end tied to the grooms shoulder.
While the Brahmin (priest) chants mantras (verses) the brides brother then fills the palms of the couple with rice and grains which all denotes a bounty of wealth, good health, prosperity and happiness. This is offered to the God of fire to bless the couple and it signifies that ?all these worldly possessions we sacrifice to you, because there is nothing greater and more rewarding than you for blessings to all Saints, Prophets and God almighty who occupies all four directions.
The groom will lead the bride for three times round the fire reciting verses as exchange of vows these being that ?I shall follow you wherever you go ? in happiness or in times of hardship and shall always serve with you.? On the final round the bride leads the groom this signifies that in old age, when it is time to depart the bride request to the Fire God to take her life before her husbands so that she is not left a widow, so that her husband has a long life and to die before them.
Saptapadi (taking seven vows together)
This follows the four rounds the fire. The couple then take seven steps together as an essential ritual of the marriage, the Brahmin (priest) chants the seven vows and the couple repeats them. The seven vows are:-
1. Let us take the first step to live with honour and respect and to provide our household with nourishments.
2. Let us take the second step to be happy and enjoy life, to develop mental, spiritual and physical peace and progress.
3. Let us take the third step to share joys and pains together and to increase wealth and prosperity for righteous means and proper use.
4. Let us take the fourth step to remember our parents and elders. Let us acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony through mutual love, trust and respect.
5. Let us take the fifth step to observe acts of charity and to be blessed with healthy, strong and courageous children.
6. Let us take the sixth step to develop self-restraint.
7. Let us take the final step to be true partners with love and sacrifice and to remain life-long partners in wedlock and have friendship
The Seven Steps (sapta padi) also differ from the typical Hindu wedding in that instead of facing north and walking seven steps together as you recite the desired blessings, your groom help you to touch seven betel nuts with your right toe while you both recite the words.
Sindurdan (this signifies that the bride is now married)
The bridegroom places Kumkum or Sindur (the red coloured powder) in the parted part of the bride?s hair which signifies that now both are married. Also he gives hers Mangalsutra (sacred necklace)
Anna-Prashana (feeding the bridegroom)
The bride then feeds the groom and tells him that by feeding this sweet food I shall bind thy heart with the thread of truth, sincerity and love, so my heart by yours and your heart be mine forever.
Completion of ceremony
After the final oblation is poured into the sacred fire the Brahmin (priest) blesses the bride and the groom. Flower petals and rice are distributed to families and guests who shower then on the couple and bless them. With their blessings the marriage ceremony is over.
The bridegroom then gives the bride clothes and jewellery. In return the brides family presents the groom with a suit. Then a few of the family come and congratulate each other, they put a red mark on the forehead and sprinkle rice on them. The red mark (chandlo) represents good luck and wishing the couple a long happy life together. The rice mean may the heavens shower upon you all happiness and wealth, progress and peace and may you have many children.
Once the religious and rituals are completed then guests are seated for a meal. The bridegroom? family and guest are seated first, then the bride side. The meal is strictly vegetarian and no alcohol is allowed.
Vidai (departure of the bride)
The bride then changes into another sari which the grooms mother has brought her. It is then time for the bride to leave her family. This is the saddest moment for the bride and her family as from this day she walks into a new life leaving all her family and relations and then joins her husbands? family and adopts his family as her own. This is the saddest and emotional part of the ceremony. She leaves with tears of joy and sadness but carries the best wishes from all who have witnessed her ceremony.
?'Om' is a sacred syllable, sometimes spelt 'Aum'. This represents the sound of God. It is also the origin of all sound. The three letters are linked with Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva ? with birth, life and death. This syllable is recited at the beginning and ending of prayers and when bhajans (hymns or mantras (holy chants) are sung.?
?In Sanskrit the swastika sign means ?bringing health?. The arms represent paths to God. They are bent, because the paths are difficult. The arms all come from a central point and this shows how everything in the universe grows from a single source. The symbol also represents the sun. This is why Hindus see the swastika as a sing of good fortune and protection against evil. It is used as a sign of God?s blessing at a time of new beginning, i.e. the symbol is marked on a coconut, using ?kumkum? during a wedding ceremony.?
The Traditional Indian Wedding submitted with kind permission of Priya Narsai, Chief Consultant at www.itsallindian.com - if you have any comments or queries you would like to raise regarding Traditional Indian Weddings please contact admin@weddingspastandpresent.co.uk who will pass them on to Priya.
Priya did all the co-ordinating and consulting for the Coronation Street Indian Wedding between Sunita and Dev, which was on over the weekend (Sunday 24th October 2004)- Priya also played the role of Sunita's sister-in-law.
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Traditional Rhymes
Married in White, you have chosen right
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Blue, you will always be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Brown, you will live in the town,
Married in Pink, you spirit will sink.
Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind & true,
When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden & for Man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.
Thanks again to Dawn for submitting the traditional rhymes
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Tradition from Northern England
In Yorkshire and Lincolnshire, at one time a plate of bride-cake was flung over the new wife's head as she returned from church, and omens were read from the way the plate broke. The more the pieces it shattered into, the happier the marriage was foretold to be. Conversely, a plate that didn't break was a bad sign, but quick-witted members of the bridal party would stamp upon it to avert the ill omen. The flung cake itself was scrambled for by the guests and torn into luck-bringing portions.
Thanks to Dawn for sharing this tradition, I have not heard of this before, can anyone throw any light on its origins and does it still take place?
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